Legally Ranting

The Law Does Not Recognise The Rights Of A Martian

Posted in Personal Rights, Property Rights, Rights by legalrants on March 2, 2010

I came across this super-laughable case in one of my heavily tautological and superfluous Property Law readings:

In 1999, one Mr Rene Joly filed 3 simultaneous lawsuits, in Ontario, Canada, against then-President of the US, Bill Clinton, the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and a judge, amongst others. The contention of Mr Joly was that they had, get this:  conspired to eliminate him and interfered with is ability to establish himself and live freely as a Martian. He claimed that he was cloned from debris found on Mars by NASA in the 1960s.

Before Epstein J, gave his judgement, he declared that “Joly properly conducted himself before the Court. He presented himself as polite, articulate, intelligent and appeared to understand completely the issues before the Court and the consequences should I grant the relief sought“.

I’m not sure if Joly engaged an attorney to fight the case (seriously, would any attorney want to take on a case like that?), but had he realised that there were some very fundamentally serious flaws of the case (against his favour, I might add), he may not have filed the suit, given his apparent intelligence:

1) Firstly, he alleged that the defendants had engaged in the tort of conspiracy against him, to establish and live freely as a Martian. However, Joly either forgot or failed, to identify nor submit any claim for damages (compensation or otherwise) for this alleged tort of conspiracy.

2) Joly wasn’t able to prove in any way that he (or should I say it) is a Martian. He claimed that the defendants had falsified his DNA test results to make it appear to be that of a legally human being. Now, I’m not disputing that Joly is not in fact a Martian, but surely he is not the first to accuse the American government of conspiracy and seriously, what were the practical chances of success of that claim succeeding?? Secondly, he assumes that the judge knows for a fact that Martians have DNA at all.

3) Ultimately, to avoid all the controversies with regards to the two reasons above, his case can simply be dismissed based on a technicality. Joly claims, afterall, that he is Martian, and therefore NOT human. A non-human entity, like a Martian, does not enjoy the same rights (at least rights that are recognised on Earth) that all other humans or legally-recognised organisations do. One of those rights is the right to sue —- In other words, since Joly claims he is not human, but a Martian, nowhere on Earth would he have a right to sue.

Epstein J had these parting words for Mr Joly:

More importantly, with all respect to Mr. Joly and his perception of reality, these actions are patently ridiculous and should not be allowed to continue as they utilize scarce public resources, not to mention the time and money of the numerous defendants who have been forced to defend these actions“.

 I think we need to alert the Men-In-Black of an extra-terrestial invasion of the disllusioned mind.


One Response

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  1. tress said, on March 3, 2010 at 11:27 am

    ha. entertaining entry

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